Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
