Apparently you make a good broom.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he puts the penis in happiness.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
