Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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