We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
why do cheetos always look like penises
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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