I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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