i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
