am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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