Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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