thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
