pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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