so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just threw up on my dentist
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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