I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
