I'm jealous of your bromance
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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