Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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