Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
