Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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