Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
