i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
