i wish my penis had a tongue
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
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