Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
