Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
should my penis look like a turkey
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Rumble strips road head = magical
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
