New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We have started to decorate penises.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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