Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
