So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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