I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
