i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he thought i was a dude.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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