Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Watching her eat just hurts me
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
