I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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