her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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