No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'm always down for nudity.
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