I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
