sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
FUCK WHALES
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
