Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
