At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
wow bdsm is so cute
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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