I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
