i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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