This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize