I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
