dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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