you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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