yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I have post one night stand depression
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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