You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
