Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
