It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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