I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
