Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
