Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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