If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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