wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
