real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
