He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
