I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
