therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Randomize
