hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
