is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize