I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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