her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I AM VODKA MAN
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
