Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
