Nicole vs. Life
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
